In self-pity, here I wallow,
'cause inside I'm feeling hollow,
And it seems the only thing I know is pain.
But I carry on my life,
Even though I have no wife,
And I hope that I will learn to love again.
On the outside I seem cheery,
On the inside I feel weary,
And to see me you would never really know,
That when she left she broke my heart,
And sadly now that we're apart,
I can't imagine where my life will likely go.
Wednesday, January 3, 2007
Another Poem
I had a very very bad night. Unfortunately, a bad morning usually follows. I'll have an update post coming later in the day with details, but I mentally composed a poem in the shower this morning, and I thought I'd share it.
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3 comments:
Son, you are again questioning whether anyone has ever truly loved you. You know that you have been truly loved, but you lose sight of the fact that the one thing in life that never changes, the one immutable fact of our existence, IS change. We change; circumstances change; people change. The present takes nothing away from what was. I’m sure you can recall many moments in the past when you knew, without doubt, that your partner loved you without reservation or condition. However, change occurs. People grow and morph into new beings with a different set of needs.
I’m sure you can recall a time when you thought someone, a parent/teacher/mentor, was the repository of all wisdom. Do you still feel that way about that individual? Probably not. You have grown and moved on. Does your current assessment alter what you felt in the past? No. The reality of that moment still exists, but not in the present; it is now a fond memory of what was.
Odds are that you will love, and be loved, again. It will not change what is/was. When you’ve achieved enough distance from the current events, I think you will be able to let go of the anguish and embrace only the good memories. There’s a song lyric from my era that goes, “Only love can break a heart; only love can mend it again.” Just keep on keepin’ on, son. You ARE loved by many, just not the one you’re focusing on at present.
That is sound advice -- all of it. Intellectually, I know these things. Emotionally is quite another matter, however.
Billy Meyers has a song that I think does a pretty good job of summing this up. Here's an excerpt:
"Nothing ever tastes quite as good
Quite as sweet
As it does the first time
Yeah, the first time
Nothing ever felt quite as bad
Quite as sad
As it did the last time
...
I know I know what I said
I know I know what I said the first time
Yes the first time
I hope that this won’t be
I hope that this ain’t the last time
It feels like the first"
you're a loveable, likeable, wonderful person with a good sense of humor and a lot of smarts. just because your heart has beeen broken (again) doesn't mean that no one has or ever will love you again. keep moving through this, you're doing an amazing job.
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