Aftermath

I may have to add this post to my list of regrets later, especially if it solicits an unfavorable reaction from my wife, but it is helpful for me to write.

I've come to the conclusion that I love her, and I am not giving up. I don't care if it's not healthy. I don't care what people think. I will win her back, or more accurately, the new person that I am will win over the new person that she is. I don't care if I spend the rest of my life alone while I do it. I know what I want, and I know what it is worth to me. The sacrifice is insignificant and ultimately unimportant.

I told a friend not long ago that I would happily trade the final 20 years of my life in exchange for spending the time between now and then with her. I said it, and I mean it, for what use is 20 years of a meaningless existence?

I recently wrote of marriage vows, and especially the part about "for better, for worse". I won't be a hypocrite. I didn't get where I am today by quitting, and I'm certainly not going to start now. We may be going through the "for worse" part mentioned in my vows, but I wont' give up so long as there is breath in my lungs and fire in my heart.