Thursday, January 18, 2007

For Better for Worse?

Traditional marriage vows: we all know the words. They're so prevalent in our society that I think even children can recite them - particularly the part that goes:

" have and to hold, from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part..."
It's unfortunate that nobody seems to take them seriously anymore. It is just too socially acceptable to leave at the first sign of trouble. The sad truth is that most marriages today end in divorce. People just don't take marriage seriously anymore.

Yes, things do go wrong. Yes, people change. Yes, there are bound to be bad times. But divorce should always be the absolute last course of action after you've explored every single other option (from counseling, to just accepting things the way they are). Then, and ONLY then, when it is absolutely clear there is no hope at all, should someone even contemplate the consideration of divorce.

As I look back on my own marriage, I see many times when elements of that oath that I swore were tested. I can count a number of situations when it would have been easier for me to simply cut and run, yet I hung in there. To be honest, it makes me a little angry. Then again, nobody ever said life was fair.

1 comment:

Dream Reader said...

That kind of felt like you were talking directly to me! Everything that was in that post applies to me! I am so ready to leave after 20 years because things aren't going the way that I want them. He isn't attentive enough, or he's too hard on the kids, or he's too cheap. So...He is trying to be more attentive, maybe I'm too easy on the kids, and we have a beautifel home and drive decent cars and we always (too often) have food in our stomachs and clothes on our backs. So I guess he's not THAT cheap. Maybe it's all in how we look at things. So today I will take your advise and do everything that I can. Tomorrow I may change my mind.LOL!
Even though your wife feels that she has done everything that she can to work the marriage out, doesn't mean that you agree and that naturally would make you angry. As much as you want to remain friends; my thought is that you have to get mad and not like her for a while so that you can cut all the strings. After that has happened, maybe you can resume a friendship. That's just my personal opinion.